Emotional validation is a powerful tool to enhance communication and build strong connections. When done correctly, it helps reduce defensiveness and misunderstandings that often lead to conflict.
On the other hand, emotional invalidation makes your partner feel like you don’t understand or care about their feelings. This can cause them to shut down or go into a battleground.
Identifying the Feelings
People seek emotional validation because it fulfills their inherent need for recognition, acceptance and understanding from others. They want to know that their emotions matter and that their feelings are based on real, valuable experiences.
Validating someone’s emotions doesn’t necessarily imply that you agree with them or that you like their feelings, but it does communicate empathy and support for their experience. Try to use verbal responses like “Okay” or “Uh-huh,” as well as body language that conveys your understanding and empathy.
Invalidating someone’s emotions is damaging and sends the message that their real emotions are not welcome in your relationship. This has been linked to mental health problems such as eating disorders and self-harm. Learning to validate your partners emotions can create a safe and nurturing space for emotional connection.
Expressing Empathy
In a relationship, emotional validation is about acknowledging and accepting your partner’s feelings. This can be done by simply listening and expressing empathy through words or nonverbal gestures.
For example, if your partner says that they are feeling humiliated because they messed up their presentation at work, you could say, “I’m sorry that was so hard for you.” This shows that you are aware of their pain and are empathetic to their feelings.
Another way to express empathy is by asking questions. However, you should always be careful not to turn the conversation into a debate about who is right or wrong. This type of conversation can often backfire and make your partner feel ignored and unheard. Instead, try to keep the conversation focused on the emotions they are experiencing and how they are coping with them.
Acknowledging the Feelings
When a partner shares their feelings with you, try not to dismiss them or tell them they’re wrong. This can leave them feeling misunderstood and frustrated, which may lead to conflict. Instead, be more empathetic and acknowledging of their emotions by listening and asking questions.
If they feel nervous about a meeting at work, say, “I understand how you feel, I’m nervous too.” Using empathy, body language, and repetition shows that you’re trying to understand them and validate their feelings.
Validating their feelings helps them to feel understood and safe, which makes them more likely to share vulnerable things in the future. It also reduces their frustration and anger, which is helpful for the relationship. It can even lower their experiences of negative emotional experiences like anxiety and depression.
Asking Questions
Asking good questions is a valuable skill for any conversationalist. A curious mindset can help us to ask deeper and more insightful questions that lead to better results.
Validating the feelings of another person is an essential component in any relationship. However, the act of validation can be difficult to implement in practice. Too often, we respond to others with comments like “you shouldn’t feel that way” or “you’re irrational.”
Instead of these types of responses, try validating someone’s feelings by acknowledging them and asking open-ended questions that allow for exploration. This will create a safe space that encourages people to share their feelings and thoughts. It also shows that you are truly listening and care about what they have to say. It is a powerful and surprisingly connecting response.
Creating a Safe Space
Emotional safety is a critical component of healthy relationships. It allows both partners to feel safe opening up, building trust and a strong connection.
When a couple feels emotionally safe, conversations run smoother, trust is stronger and even sex is better. However, creating a safe space can be challenging.
The best way to create an environment that promotes emotional safety is by listening actively. This means being able to hear your partner’s feelings and thoughts without interrupting. It also means listening with empathy and not criticizing or judging them. Additionally, nonverbal communication such as body language and facial expressions can communicate negative messages that undermine safety. By practicing these skills, you can learn to build a loving, secure and fulfilling relationship.Emotional validation in relationships